We are living in agility demanding times, consistently adapting to new changes of working remotely, virtually, and differently than we are used to. It's been nearly a year now that we continue to work in a gray zone of ambiguity. Changes and challenges have included less opportunity to give real time feedback, less ques to interpret feedback without seeing body language, increased difficulty developing relationships and showing vulnerability, difficulty reading the energy of the room and too many communication channels to keep abreast of feedback (email, video, slack, etc). Not to mention multiple priorities and distractions including working from home, kids, pandemic/loss/hardships and personal life elements that don’t have anything to do with the 9-6!

We’ve got fewer contact points than we are used to, it’s more difficult to discern what’s going on with our teams, we don’t know what our employees are doing day to day, and as a result it’s become harder to give and receive feedback within our teams. Oftentimes we may feel like we are tiptoeing around what’s really going on.

According to LifeLabs, my favorite in the training and development space, there has been a 34% decrease in the quality and quantity of feedback over the past year. Not only are we having trouble giving feedback, but we are also struggling to receive feedback. Reasons for this include less touchpoints during virtual work, managers have learned to stockpile feedback and give too much at once, which makes it feel more dramatic then perhaps intended, more written rather than verbal feedback which takes on a more serious tone, among other reasons as well.

Continuous virtual/remote work has blurred social norms and as a result, we’ve become less inclined to share feedback on positive behavior. We no longer pay attribute to the behavior we want continued, and instead focus exclusively on behavior that needs to be improved. We have an activity bias where we lean towards mentioning what needs to be fixed, so as managers it’s really important to also commentate on what people are doing well. Consider calendarizing giving positive feedback and the impact that can have on your team so that you don’t only deliver constructive feedback. It’s so important to find that balance, especially when delivering the feedback via screen.

Consider these tools in working with your team to give better, balance feedback- both constructive and positive.

Create prompts to open up dialogue.

When you need to deliver constructive feedback, set yourself up for success by having your direct report agree to have the conversation prior to delivering your thoughts. Getting a "micro-yes" from them enables for a more open line of communication. Use openers like the prompts below to encourage a mico-yes, before you give constructive feedback.

• Can we do a quick check in on…

• Do you have some time to talk about…

• I have some feedback on… can I share it with you?

Remove “Blur Words” and probe to deblur feedback.

When feedback, like the examples below are blurry, someone walks away thinking what on earth does that mean? What do I do differently? How do I fix my performance/behavior?

• Your proactivity needs to increase

• Your proposal isn’t realistic

• You always appear unfriendly

• Your summary is awesome

Encourage your team to push back and probe further on the feedback they receive. Likewise, pay attention to the language you use when delivering feedback. Can it be clearer? Are they any blur words?

Impact statements – specify the behavior that matters.

When giving feedback, make sure you consider the “because”. You are giving feedback because it matters, because it had an impact, because it improved the team, or the business, so make sure you are giving feedback on the impact of why something mattered.

• Great job pulling that analytics report… it allowed us to recognize key trends which means we can get ahead of problems!

• I like how you gathered a 1 pager and came up with an action plan… This helped us become more efficient as a team.

• Your customer service skills are so strong… and they help the rest of the team see the level we need to operate at. You are raising the bar for an elevated customer service experience.

Feedback begets feedback!

Ask questions before you give feedback. This means asking for feedback on how your direct report thinks they did, before you let them know your thoughts on their performance. Have them self feedback and open up the conversation. The prompts below will help start the conversations.

• How do you see it?

• What can we do differently going forward?

• Next time, can you…

• How can you be 10% better next time

Role model.

Role model to your team that you are also open to receiving feedback. You may want to consider asking how you gave the feedback and what you can do to deliver feedback better the next time around. You can also consider asking:

• What you can be doing as a leader 10% better?

• How can you give feedback to them 10% better?

• How can you be a 10% better manager?

Giving feedback in a remote work is not without its challenges. Role model the type of behavior you are trying to normalize, improve and systemize.